Take the quizzes and
see! If you are, find out what you can do to change your odds AND YOUR
CHOICES!
Women who are in
dangerous relationships often have to manipulate reality in order to see
their situation differently so they are able to stay in it. Women who
are repeatedly in dangerous relationships have an arsenal of ‘loopholes’
they use to talk themselves into remaining in a go-nowhere dangerous
relationship.
In order to change
your patterns, it is important you know what kind of loopholes you are
using to avoid change, growth, and ending the relationship. These
loopholes become a sort of ‘mantra’ that women say over and over to
themselves either consciously, or subconsciously. It slowly reinforces
their decision to stay despite the red flags they are having about these
choices.
Some women have
gathered sabotaging loopholes from what she thinks the culture expects
of women in relationships. Some women have learned these excuses from
other females in their own family who have taught her to accept
dangerous behavior in others (or men.
8 Categories of Loopholes
* Minimizing
Loopholes
* Generalizing
Loopholes
* Justifying
Loopholes
* Hyper-Hopefulness
Loopholes
* Messiah Complex
Loopholes
* Over-Crediting
Loopholes
* Renaming Loopholes
* Future Avoidance
Loopholes
TAKE THE
MINIMIZING LOOPHOLE QUIZ BELOW
These loopholes take
dangerous or unsatisfactory behaviors and make them less threatening my
minimizing their true effects. This loophole is characterized by someone
saying, “At least he…”
Check all that
apply
AT
LEAST he only drinks beer and not the hard stuff
AT LEAST he doesn’t hit me, he only yells, threatens, or degrades me
AT
LEAST he works most of the time
AT
LEAST he isn’t like my dad/brother/previous boyfriend
AT
LEAST he comes home at night/dates me/is still around
AT
LEAST he pays my bills
AT
LEAST he doesn’t beat my children
AT
LEAST he is someone to have around until someone better comes along
AT
LEAST he (fill
in what your normally say)
ADD UP YOUR TOTAL NUMBER OF POINTS
** Women who use
Minimizing Loopholes normally use many of the other categories of
loopholes also. What OTHER categories do you use? Find out—order the
book and workbook and take the tests—find out exactly what you are
telling yourself.
AM I IN DANGER OF DATING *MORE* DANGEROUS MEN?
Give yourself 2
points for a ‘Yes’ answer, 0 point for a ‘No’ answer.
I
have dated more than one man that others would have considered
‘dangerous’
**
I have dated more than three dangerous men
**
I have dated five or more dangerous men
I
have broken up and gone back with a dangerous man
**
A dangerous man I dated would have fallen in the ‘violent’ category
**
A dangerous man I dated would have fallen in a combination of categories
of violent, addicted, and mentally ill
A
dangerous man I dated would have fallen in the mentally ill category
I
have a pattern of ignoring my red flags
**
Ignoring my red flags has put me at-risk with dangerous men
I
don’t even know what my red flags are
Friends
and family are upset over the types of dangerous men I pick
I
don’t know what healthy relationship patterns are
I
fluctuate between men who are emotionally unavailable and aloof to men
who are dependent, needy and clingy
I
don’t fluctuate in the type of men I date—I keep picking the same type
of man, even though it hasn’t worked in the past
ADD UP YOUR TOTAL NUMBER OF POINTS
NOW ADD UP YOUR TOTAL NUMBER OF POINTS FROM
BOTH SECTIONS
In considering your
own personal risk factors for dating dangerous men you must also
consider WHICH answer you checked on the scale which indicate a HIGHER
risk and should raise greater concern if these were marked. Any of those
with an ‘*’ indicate higher risk factors.
The Dangerous Man
Risk Scale (Non-clinical scale)
0 – 8 points =
Lower Risk (unless you have marked those questions with an **.)
10 – 18 points
= Moderate Risk (unless you marked those questions with an **.)
20 – 32 points
= High Risk (exceptionally high risk if you also marked those questions
with an **.)
More quizzes like
this one are in the How to Spot a
Dangerous Man Workbook. There are also additional quizzes on this
website under ‘Books & Products.’
If
you indicated a ‘Moderate’ to ‘High Risk’ on this quiz, you owe it to
yourself to get the WORKBOOK and/or Phone Counseling sessions to give
you the opportunity to decipher your own personal patterns of dangerous
selection.
